Category: Counselors

Emotional Overexcitability

    Dr. Emily Mofield of Lipscomb University has published several articles on social emotional needs of gifted students, with one of particular interest about gifted overexcitabilities. One of those overexcitabilities is with emotions. Emotional overexcitability is often first noticed by parents. It is reflected in heightened, intense feelings, extremes of complex emotions, identification with others’ feelings, and strong affective expression.

    Emotionally overly excitable children have a capacity for deep relationships; they show strong emotional attachments to people, places, and things, according to Dabrowski.

    Your gifted students may show compassion, empathy, and sensitivity in their relationships. They may be expressly aware of their own feelings, of how they are growing and changing, and often carry on inner dialogs and practice self-judgment.

    These same gifted students may appear to overreact to everything. Their compassion and concern for others, their focus on relationships, and the intensity of their feelings may interfere with them daily.

    For people who are not highly emotional, observing their response to events may seem peculiar. We need to accept their emotional intensity and help them work through any problems that might result from this depth of feeling.

Feelings List

Here is a feelings list for your students to consider or they can think of their own:

Accepting

Calm

Content

Fulfilled

Patient

Peaceful

Relaxed

Serene

Trusting

Enthusiastic

Joyful

Amazed

Excited

Free

Happy

Glad

Inspired

Lively

Playful

Refreshed

Bitter

Disgruntled

Edgy

Exasperated

Frustrated

Furious

Grouchy

Hostile

Impatient

Irritated

Irate

Moody

Resentful

Upset

Courageous

Strong

Brave

Capable

Worthy

Loving

Accepting

Determined

Empathic

Safe

Warm

Worthy

Curious

Sad

Disappointed

Involved

Gloomy

Heartbroken

Hopeless

Lonely

Sorrowful

Unhappy

Upset

Bored

Confused

Withdrawn

Embarrassed

Trapped

Powerless

Trusting

Worried

Terrified

Paralyzed

Exhausted

Frazzled

Rattled

Rejected

Shaken

Worn

Unsettled

Doubtful

Apprehensive

Appreciative

Worried

Unsure

Skeptical

Suspicious

Unsure

Weary

Perplexed

Activity: Name that Feeling!

Adapted from Han’s Christian Anderson’s classic tale Thumbelina by K5 Counselors

Read one scenario at a time. As the readers’ theater goes along, have your students take turns reading aloud. Make sure to give your students a moment to silently read each passage first. you must stop and Name That Feeling! You must choose a different feeling—no repeats! You will also tell about a time you had the same feeling.

NAME THAT FEELING 1

Woman 1:

Once upon a time I very much wanted to have a little tiny child but didn\’t know where I could get one.

NAME THAT FEELING 2

Woman 2:

I searched the barleycorn. I found a seed, took it home, and planted it. I placed it in the sun and watered it.

Woman 3:

Very soon a fine flower came up that looked just like a tulip, but the petals were closed tight as if it were still a bud.

Woman 4:

I gave it a kiss on its pretty red and yellow petals. Just as I kissed it the flower gave a loud crack and opened.

NAME THAT FEELING 3

Woman 5:

I could see it was a real tulip, only right in the middle of it sat a tiny little girl, as delicate as could be.

Woman 1:
She was only a thumb-length long, so I called her Thumbelina.

NAME THAT FEELING 4

Woman 2:

I gave her a splendid walnut shell for a bed, blue violet leaves for a mattress, and a rose-leaf for a quilt.

Woman 3:

There she slept at night, but in the day time she played around in a wreath of flowers on a plate.

Woman 4:

On the water floated a large tulip-leaf on which Thumbelina could sit and sail from one side of the plate to the other.

Toad 1:

One night, as she lay in her pretty bed, I came hopping in the broken pane of a window.

Toad 2:

I was covered in warts and was big and wet. I hopped right down where Thumbelina lay asleep under her rose-leaf.

Toad 3:

She would make a lovely wife for my son.

NAME THAT FEELING 5

Toad 4:

I took hold of the walnut-shell where Thumbelina slept and hopped off with her through the window and down into the garden.

Toad 5:

Through it flowed a big broad stream, but just at the edge it was marshy and muddy, and there I lived with my son.

NAME THAT FEELING 6

Toad Son 1:

Koäx, koäx, brekke-ke-kex.

Toad 1:

Don\’t talk so loud, you\’ll wake her, and she might run away from us. We\’ll put her out in the river on one of the broad water-lily leaves.

NAME THAT FEELING 7

Toad 3:

There were many water-lilies growing out in the stream, and she was on the leaf that was furthest out.

Toad 4:

To this leaf I swam out and put the walnut-shell with Thumbelina on it.

Thumbelina 1:

I woke up very early in the morning, and when I saw where I was, I began to cry! For there was water all around the big leaf.

NAME THAT FEELING 8

Toad 5:

I stayed down in the mud and set about decorating her room to make it nice and neat.

Toad 1:

Then I swam out with my toad son to the leaf where Thumbelina stood. I present my son to you. He is going to be your husband, and you will have a delightful life down in the mud.

Toad Son 2:

Koäx, koäx, brekke-ke-kex.

Thumbelina 2:

So they took the beautiful little bed and swam off with it while I sat all alone on the green leaf crying, for I didn\’t want to live with the horrid Toad or have her ugly son for a husband.

NAME THAT FEELING 9

Fish 1:

We were swimming beneath in the water, and saw the Toad and heard what she said, so we put our heads up. We wanted to see the little girl.

NAME THAT FEELING 10

Fish 2:

As soon as we saw her, we thought her so pretty that it grieved us to think that she had to live with the ugly Toad.

NAME THAT FEELING 11

Fish 3:

We swarmed together down in the water, all around the green stalk that held the leaf she was on, and gnawed it with our teeth; the leaf went floating down the stream, and took Thumbelina far away from the Toad.

NAME THAT FEELING 12

Thumbelina 3:

I sailed past many places, and the little birds in the bushes saw me and sang.

Thumbelina 4:

The leaf floated further away with me, and I went on my travels.

Thumbelina 5:

A beautiful little white butterfly kept flying around me, and at last settled on the leaf, and I was very happy, for now the Toad could not get me, and everything was beautiful where I was sailing.

Thumbelina 1:

The sun shone on the water and made it glitter. I took my sash and tied one end of it to the butterfly, and the other end I fastened to the leaf, and it went along much faster with a sail.

Beetle 1:

Just then I came flying by and caught sight of her, and in an instant, I grasped her slender body in my claws, and flew up into a tree with her.

Thumbelina 2:

The green leaf went floating downstream and the butterfly with it! How frightened I was when the beetle flew up into the tree with me.

NAME THAT FEELING 13

Beetle 2:

I alighted with her on the largest green leaf on the tree, and gave her honey out of the flowers to eat, and told her she was very pretty, though she wasn\’t in the least like a beetle.

Beetle 3:

All the other beetles that lived in the tree came and paid calls. They looked at Thumbelina, and the young lady beetles brushed their feelers.

Female Beetle:

She\’s only got two legs! a wretched sight! She\’s got no feelers. She\’s quite thin in the waist. Dreadful! She looks just like a human being! How ugly she is!

NAME THAT FEELING 14

Beetle 4:

When all the rest said she was horrid, I came to think so too at last, and wouldn\’t have anything to do with her.

Beetle 5:

I flew down from the tree and put her on a daisy, and there she sat and cried.

NAME THAT FEELING 15

Thumbelina 3:

All the summer through I lived quite alone in the big woods. I plaited a bed of green stalks and hung it up under a large leaf to be out of the rain.

Thumbelina 4:

I picked the honey out of the flowers and ate it and drank the dew which lay every morning on the leaves.

Thumbelina 5:

There I spent the summer and the autumn; but then came the long cold winter.

Thumbelina 1:

All the birds flew their way; the trees and flowers withered, and I was terribly cold. I was likely to be frozen to death! Then it began to snow.

NAME THAT FEELING 16

Thumbelina 2:

I was only an inch high. I wrapped myself up in a dead leaf, but there was no warmth in it, and I shivered with the cold. In the morning, I started through the cornfield that was like a forest.

Thumbelina 4:

At last I came to a Field Mouse\’s door, which was a little hole down among the stubble. I went up to the door and asked for a little bit of barleycorn.

NAME THAT FEELING 17

Field Mouse 1:

Poor little thing. Come into my warm room and have dinner with me. You can stay the winter with me, only you\’ll have to keep my room nice and clean and tell me stories.

Thumbelina 1:

I did as the kind old Field Mouse asked, and had a pleasant time.

NAME THAT FEELING 18

Field Mouse 2:

We shall soon be having a visitor. My neighbor calls on me every day. How lucky you would be if he chose you for his bride.

Thumbelina 5:

I didn\’t care much about this. I didn\’t want to marry the neighbor, for he was a Mole.

NAME THAT FEELING 19

Mole 1:

I came and paid a call in my black velvet coat. My mansion was more than twenty times the size of Field Mouse’s house. I asked her to sing.

Mole 2:

I fell in love with her for her pretty voice; but I said nothing about it, for I was a very cautious man.

NAME THAT FEELING 20

Mole 3:

I dug a big passage through the earth from my house to theirs, and invited the Field Mouse and Thumbelina there whenever they liked.

Mole 1:

I told them not to be frightened at the dead bird that lay in the passage.

Mole 2:

I took a bit of touchwood in my mouth because it shines like fire in the dark and went in front and lighted the way through the long dark passage.

Mole 3:

When we got to where the dead bird lay, I pushed my broad back against the ceiling and lifted the earth so that there was a big hole which let in the light.

Field Mouse 3:

In the middle of this floor lay a dead swallow with its pretty wings close against its sides and its legs and head down among its feathers.

Thumbelina 1:

I felt very sorry for it. I was fond of all the little birds that had sung and twittered so prettily to me all the summer long.

NAME THAT FEELING 21

Mole 4:

I kicked it with my short legs. It must be wretched to be born a bird that twit, twits, and is bound to starve to death in winter.

Field Mouse 4:

What has the bird to show for all its twit, twit, when winter comes? It starves and freezes.

NAME THAT FEELING 22

Mole 4:

I kicked it with my short legs. It must be wretched to be born a bird that twit, twits, and is bound to starve to death in winter.

Field Mouse 4:

What has the bird to show for all its twit, twit, when winter comes? It starves and freezes.

NAME THAT FEELING 23

Thumbelina 2:

I said nothing, but when the others turned their backs on the bird, I parted the feathers that covered its head, and kissed its eyes.

Thumbelina 3:

Perhaps this was the one that sang to me so prettily in the summer. What a lot of pleasure it gave me, the dear little bird.

NAME THAT FEELING 24

Mole 5:

I now stopped up the hole through which the daylight shone in, and saw the ladies home.

Thumbelina 4:

That night I couldn\’t sleep, so I got out of bed took a coverlet of hay and spread it about the bird.

Thumbelina 5:

Farewell, and thank you for your lovely singing in the summer, when all the trees were green and the sun shone on us.

Thumbelina 1:

I laid my head against the bird\’s heart which I heard beating! The bird was not dead; it was hibernating, and being warmed, it woke again.

NAME THAT FEELING 25

Thumbelina 2:

In autumn, the swallows fly to the warm countries, but if one lags behind it gets frozen so that it tumbles down and the snow covers it.

Thumbelina 3:

I really shivered, so frightened was I. The bird was enormously big compared to me.

Thumbelina 4:

I took courage and folded a peppermint leaf, and put it over the bird\’s head.

Thumbelina 5:

Next night I crept down to it again, and this time it was awake but so weak that it could only open its eyes briefly.

Swallow 1:

Thank you, pretty little child. I\’ve been beautifully warmed. Soon I shall get back my strength and be able to fly about again in the warm sun.

NAME THAT FEELING 26

Thumbelina 1:

It\’s dreadfully cold outside, snowing and freezing! You must stay in your warm bed, I\’ll care for you!

Swallow 2:

Then she brought me some water in the leaf of a plant, and I told her how I had hurt my wing on a thorn bush, and I couldn\’t fly as well as the other swallows when they set out to fly away to the warm countries.

Swallow 3:

At last I fell to the ground, but I can’t remember anymore.

Swallow 1:

All the winter I stayed, and Thumbelina was very kind to me, but neither the Mole nor the Field Mouse heard anything whatever about me.

NAME THAT FEELING 27

Swallow 2:

As soon as spring came and the sun\’s warmth got into the ground, I said good-bye to Thumbelina.

Swallow 3:

The sun shone in and I asked if Thumbelina if she would not come with me; she could sit on my back and we would fly away.

Thumbelina 2:

I knew that it would grieve the old Field Mouse, if I left her like that.

Thumbelina 3:

No, I can\’t. Good-bye. The swallow flew out into the sunshine. I stood looking after it, and the tears pooled in my eyes.

NAME THAT FEELING 28

Swallow 1: Twit, twit.

Thumbelina 4:

I was very unhappy; I got no chance to go out into the warm sunshine, because the corn that had been sown in the field was grown tall.

Field Mouse 5:

This summer you must make your trousseau since the Mole has proposed to you.

Field Mouse 1:

You shall have both wool and linen—something to sit in and to lie on when you are the Mole\’s wife.

Thumbelina 5:

I had to spin, and Field Mouse hired four spiders to spin and weave. Every evening the Mole called in and talked about our wedding.

NAME THAT FEELING 29

Mole 1:

When the sun is not scorching the ground, we shall be married.

Thumbelina 1:

I wasn\’t at all pleased; I didn\’t like the tiresome Mole one bit. Every morning when the sun rose and every evening when it set I crept out.

Thumbelina 2:

I wished to see the swallow, but he never came; he must certainly be flying far away in the beautiful greenwood.

NAME THAT FEELING 30

Thumbelina 3:

By the time autumn came, I had all my trousseau ready.

Field Mouse 2:

In four weeks\’ time you shall be married.

Thumbelina 4:

I refuse to marry the tiresome Mole.

NAME THAT FEELING 31

Field Mouse 3:

Rubbish, don\’t be pigheaded, or I\’ll bite you. It\’s a splendid husband you\’re getting.

Thumbelina 5:

So the wedding was to be; already the Mole had come to fetch me, and with him I must go deep down underground.

Thumbelina 1:

I was bitterly grieved, for now I must bid farewell to the beautiful sunshine which I had at least had the chance of seeing from the door.

NAME THAT FEELING 32

Thumbelina 2:

Farewell! bright sun. I stretched my arms upwards and stepping a little way outside the Field Mouse\’s house, for now the corn was harvested.

Thumbelina 3:

I threw my arms about a little red flower. Give my love to the dear swallow for me if ever you see him.

Swallow 2:

Twit! Twit!

Thumbelina 4:

I heard the sound at that moment above my head. I looked up and there was the swallow flying by.

NAME THAT FEELING 33

Swallow 3:

I was overjoyed when I caught sight of her. She told me she didn’t want to marry the ugly Mole and live underground.

Swallow 4:

Cold winter is coming. I am going to fly far away to the warm countries; will you come with me?

Swallow 5:

You can sit on my back, only tie yourself tight with your sash, and we\’ll fly far away from the ugly Mole and his dark home.

Swallow 1:

Do fly away with me. You saved my life when I lay frozen in that dark cellar underground.

NAME THAT FEELING 34

Thumbelina 5:

Yes, I will come with you. I got up on the bird\’s back, put my feet on his outspread wings, tied my belt fast to his feathers, and off flew the swallow high in the air over forest and lake.

Thumbelina 1:

At last we got to the warm countries. There the sun shone far brighter, and in the ditches grew the loveliest clusters of grapes.

Swallow 2:

I flew still further, and the country grew more delightful. Under splendid trees, beside a blue lake, stood a shining palace of white marble. At the top was my nest.

Swallow 3:

Here is my house, but won\’t you find one of the finest flowers below, and I\’ll put you there.

Thumbelina 2:

That will be lovely.

Swallow 4:

I flew down with Thumbelina and set her on one of the broad leaves. But what a surprise for her!

Thumbelina 3:

A little man was sitting in the middle of the flower, with the prettiest gold crown on his head and the loveliest bright wings on his shoulders, and he was no bigger than me.

Thumbelina 4:

He was the angel of the flower. In each flower lived a little man or woman, but this one was the king of them all.

Prince 1:

I was quite alarmed by the swallow, which was a giant bird to me, tiny and delicate as I was, but when I saw Thumbelina I was delighted, for she was by far the prettiest girl I had ever seen.

Prince 2:

I took my gold crown off my head and laid it upon hers, asked what her name was, and whether she would be my wife, for then she would become queen of all the flowers.

Thumbelina 5:

Here indeed was a husband—very different from the Toad\’s son or the Mole.

NAME THAT FEELING 35

Thumbelina 1:

Yes, I would love to be your wife.
Thumbelina 2:

Out of every flower there came a lady or a lord, so pretty that it was a pleasure to see them. Everyone brought us a present, but the best of all was a pair of beautiful wings that fit me perfectly.
Thumbelina 3:

They were fastened to my back, and then I could fly from flower to flower.
Swallow 5:

There was great rejoicing, and I sat on my nest up and sang to them as well as ever I could; but at heart I was sad, for I was very fond of Thumbelina.
Swallow 1:

I said good-bye and flew back, away from the warm countries, back to Denmark. There I had a little nest above the window, where the man who can tell stories; and to him I sing, \”Twit, twit\”, and that\’s the way we came by the whole story.

Pause to Ponder

    Pose the following to your students: how are you feeling right now? Can you use a descriptor that you didn\’t previously use in this activity? Can you explain why you\’re feeling that way?

Informed decisions

    Children must develop critical-thinking skills to make informed decisions. The way they learn this skill is through experiences. Parents and teachers support the young children as they practice making decisions. So what if they clothing combinations are not aesthetically pleasing to you or others? When I taught kindergarten and first grade, I always knew whose parents allowed decision making on clothing choices. They were my more independent thinkers and often my creative kiddos.

    During those very young years, parents and teachers need to help more than they will later. Children love a sense of choice and control. Let them make decisions that don’t involve safety. After practicing decision making young, when faced with a bigger problem and away from parents such as a park or at school, the child will be able to use effective coping skills and have confidence when faced with a problem.

Learning Safety

    Children from a very young age can learn safety skills. They need safety skills in the home such as: when to answer the door, where to go on-line and where not to go, what information not to give out on-line. When out in public they need to understand about strangers and what to do if someone approaches them in a public restroom. 

    Learning to advocate for oneself can also help with safety and in social situations. Children need to be able to speak up for themselves in a scary situation as well as when on the playground and others are trying to take advantage or not play fairly. When in the classroom and group work is required, children must speak up and advocate for themselves so that all children share the group workload.

The Rooster and Fox

Readers\’ theater and game

Adapted from Aesop\’s Fables by K5 Counselors

Instructions: Counselor should allow students to take time to first silently read his or her part, before taking turns reading aloud. If you have students who are not yet reading, they can participate through listening.

Characters: Fox 1 – 13, Rooster 1 – 17

 

Rooster 1: 

One bright evening as the sun was sinking on a glorious world I flew into a tree to roost.

Rooster 2:

I was considered a wise old rooster.

Rooster 3:

Before I composed myself to rest, I flapped my wings three times and crowed loudly.

Rooster 4:

Just as I was about to put my head under my wing, my beady eyes caught a flash of red and a glimpse of a long, pointed nose.

Rooster 5: 

There, just below me stood Fox.

Fox 1:

Have you heard the wonderful news?

Fox 2:

I spoke in a very joyful and excited manner.

Rooster 6:

What news?

Rooster 7:

I was still feeling calm.

Rooster 8:

My feeling of calm quickly changed to a strange, fluttery feeling inside me.

Rooster 9:

I was very much afraid of the Fox.

Fox 3:

Your family and mine and all other animals have agreed to forget their differences and live in peace and friendship from now on forever.

Fox 4:

Just think of it!

Fox 5:

I simply cannot wait to embrace you!

Fox 6:

Do come down, dear friend, and let us celebrate the joyful event.

Rooster 10:

How grand!

Rooster 11:

I certainly am delighted at the news.

Fox 7:

But he spoke in an absent way, and stretching up on tiptoes, seemed to be looking at something afar off.

Fox 8:

What is it you see?

Fox 9:

I started feelings a little anxious.

Rooster 12:

Why, it looks to me like a couple of Dogs coming this way. They must have heard the good news and—

Fox 10:

But I did not wait to hear more.

Fox 11:

Off I started on a run.

Rooster 13:

Wait, why do you run?

Rooster 14:

The Dogs are friends of yours now!\”

Fox 12:

Yes, but they might not have heard the news.

Fox 13:

Besides, I have a very important errand that I had almost forgotten about.

Rooster 15:

I smiled as I buried my head in my feathers and went to sleep.

Rooster 16:

I had succeeded in outwitting a very crafty enemy.

Rooster 17:

The moral of this story is: The trickster is easily tricked.

Activity: When to say no

Instructions: Read and discuss each scenario below. How can you use self-help in each case?

• Your “friend” asks you for your password to your Facebook account. What should you say?
• Your “friend” wants to borrow the $100 you are saving for summer camp because he wants to buy a video game. He says he is pay you back $20 extra in a month. What do you say?
• You get a new t-shirt for your birthday. Your “friend” wants to wear it to the party that you are not invited to on Saturday. What do you say?
• You have been waiting in line for 2 hours to see the new movie. Your “friend” wants to cut in line. What do you say?
• Your “friend” wants your pizza that is in your lunch. She wants to give you her pimento cheese. You don’t like pimento cheese. What do you say?
• It is your turn to choose the game that the group will play at recess. Your “friend” wants the group to play soccer instead. What do you say?
• You have a new I-Phone. Your “friend” wants to borrow it for the weekend. Your mom told you not to lend it to anyone. What do you say?
• Someone that you don’t know drives by as you are walking to the park. He calls to you to come over and give him directions to the school. What do you say?
• Your older sister tells you to go make lunch on the stove. You are not sure about how to use the stove. What do you say?
• You are on social media. You have met a new “friend.” He asks you to meet him at the movies Saturday night and tell anybody what you are doing. What do you say?
• You have been saving your piece of birthday cake until after supper. Your brother already ate his piece. He wants your piece of cake. What do you say?
• If you play with her or talk to her at recess, I am not going to be your “friend.” What do you say?
• I was not invited to the sleepover. I don’t want you to go either. If you go, I will not be your “friend.” What do you say?
• I forgot to do my homework again. Could I borrow yours to copy just this once? What do you say?

Pause to Ponder

    How can you appropriately stand up for yourself in your daily life? Describe what that would look like.

Unit Goals

• Belief in development of whole self, including a healthy balance of mental, social-emotional, and physical well-being
• Self-confidence in ability to succeed
• Demonstrate critical-thinking skills to make informed decisions
• Demonstrate ability to assume responsibility
• Demonstrate ability to work independently
• Demonstrate effective coping skills when faced with a problem
• Demonstrate advocacy skills and ability to assert self, when necessary
• Demonstrate personal safety skills
• Demonstrate social maturity and behaviors appropriate to the situation and environment

Hercules and the Wagoner

Adapted from Aesop\’s Fables by K5 Counselors

Instructions: Counselor should allow students to take time to first silently read his or her part, before taking turns reading aloud. If you have students who are not yet reading, they can participate through listening.

Characters: Farmer 1 – 6, Hercules 1 – 5

 

Farmer 1: 

 I was driving my wagon along a miry country road after a heavy rain.

Farmer 2:

The horses could hardly drag the load through the deep mud, and at last came to a standstill when one of the wheels sank to the hub in a rut.

Farmer 3:

I climbed down from my seat and stood beside the wagon looking at it but without making the least effort to get it out of the rut.

 

Farmer 4:

All I did was to curse my bad luck and call loudly on Hercules to come to my aid.

 

Hercules 1:

I appeared and spoke to the Farmer.

Hercules 2:

Put your shoulder to the wheel, man, and urge on your horses.

Hercules 3:

Do you think you can move the wagon by simply looking at it and whining about it?

  

Hercules 4:

I will not help unless you make some effort to help yourself.

 

Farmer 5:

And when I put my shoulder to the wheel and urged on the horses, the wagon moved very readily.

 

Farmer 6:

Soon I was riding along in great content and with a good lesson learned.

 

Hercules 5:

Self-help is the best help.

Activity: Self-Help is the best help

Instructions: Read and discuss each scenario below. How can you use self-help in each case?

• Jose reads the math problem. It is super challenging. He doesn’t know what to do. He could raise his hand and ask for help, but the teacher is busy, Tell Jose how to use self-help.
• Jaimee is riding her bike. She is as the end of the block near her house, and she gets a flat tire, and yelling will not bring help. Tell her how to use self-help.
• Ben is supposed to make himself breakfast. The cereal box is too high to reach. Tell Ben how to use self-help.
• Cara is supposed to make herself a sandwich for lunch. Her mom worked the night shift and is sleeping. She is out of bread. Should she wake her mom, or can she use self-help?
• Jack is making a glass of chocolate milk. He pours too much and milk over-flows onto the wood floor. What can Jack do to help himself?
• Sophie forgot to write down her homework assignment, and she knows that is due tomorrow. What can she do for self-help?
• Emma goes to get in her bed, but it has no sheets. Her Grandma is sick and is asleep. What can she do for self-help?
• The big kid on the bus tells you that you must give him your lunch. What can you do for self-help?
• You are supposed to take a bath, but you are out of soap. What can you do for self-help?
• You are at home with your older sister. She is on her iPhone and tells you not to bother her. You fall and skin your knee. What can you do for self-help?
• It is time to take the spelling test. You are not supposed to talk during the test. You can’t find a pencil. What can you do for self-help?
• You are running on the playground at school, and your flip-flop shoe breaks. The teacher is not available to help you. What can you do for self-help?
• You lose your lunch money on the way to school. What can you do for self-help?
• You can’t find any clean socks and it is time for the bus. What can you do for self-help?
• You are playing in your yard. You see a snake right by the back steps. You don’t know if it is venomous. What can you do for self-help?
• You are walking to the park to meet with your friend. A car drives up and tells you to get inside. What can you do for self-help?

Pause to Ponder

    Can you think of anything in your daily life that needs focused self-help? What steps can you take to help improve your situation?

Unit Goals

• Demonstrate critical thinking skills to make informed decisions.
• Consider multiple perspectives to make informed decisions.
• Demonstrate ability to assume responsibility.
• Demonstrate self-discipline and self-control.
• Demonstrate effective coping skills when faced with a problem.
• Demonstrate ethical decision making and social responsibility.
• Identify feelings and express emotions appropriately

The Miller, His Son And The Donkey

Adapted from the ancient fable by K5 Counselors

Instructions: Counselor should allow students to take turns reading.

 

A Miller and Son once set out for the fair,
To sell a fine donkey they had brought up with care;
And the way that they started made everyone stare.

To keep the donkey fresh, so the beast would sell
On a pole they slung him, with his long dangling tail.

One person who passed them cried out in great glee.
\”Was there anything ever so silly?\” said he.
\”Can you guess who the silliest of those three?\”

The Miller at once put the brute on the ground;
And the donkey, who had liked to ride the other way round,
Complained in language of curious sound.

No matter. The Miller now made his Son ride,
While he followed after or walked alongside.
Then up came three merchants. The eldest one cried;

\”Get down there, young fellow! I never did see
Such manners; a gray-beard walks where you should be.
He should ride, you should follow. Just take that from me!\”

\”Dear Sirs,\” quoth the Miller, \”I\’d see you content.\”
He climbed to the saddle; on foot the boy went…
Three girls passed. Said one: \”Do you see that old Gent?
There he sits, like a bishop. I say it\’s a shame,
While that boy trudging after seems more than half lame.\”
\”Little girl,\” said the Miller, \”go back whence you came.\”

Yet this young creature so worked on his mind
That he wanted no woman to call him unkind.
And he said to his Son, \”Seat yourself here–behind.\”

With the donkey bearing double they jogged on again,
And once more met a critic, who said, \”It is plain
Only dunces would give their poor donkey such pain.

He will die with their weight, it\’s a shame and a sin.
For their faithful servant they care not a pin.
They\’ll have nothing to sell at the fair but his skin.\”

\”Dear me!\” said the Miller, \”What am I to do?
Must I suit the whole world and the world\’s father, too?
Yet it must end sometime–so I\’ll see the thing through.\”

Both Father and Son now decided to walk,
While the donkey marched in front with a strut and a stalk;
Yet the people who passed them continued to talk.

Said one to another: \”Look there, if you please,
How they wear out their shoes, while their donkey takes his ease.
Were there ever, do you think, three such sillies as these?\”
Said the Miller: \”You\’re right. I\’m a silly! It is true.
Too long have I listened to people like you.
But now I am done with the whole kit and crew.

\”Let them blame me or praise me, keep silent or yell,
My goings and comings they cannot compel.
I will do as I please!\”…So he did–and did well.

let\’s talk it over

• What happens if you listen to and follow everyone’s advice?
• What should you consider before making a decision?

Making an Informed Decision

1. Focus on the outcome. You can sort through available information and see if the choice you make gets you to the place you want to be finally. It helps you sort through the facts before deciding. If they wanted to get the donkey to market and get the best price for him, what should they consider?
2. Stop worrying about what others are going to think if you don’t do it their way. Focus on the outcome, and what you must do to get there.
3. Think about previous experiences. What mistakes can you learn from and do differently this time to have a better outcome?
4. Stop and think what you are feeling. Take time to think before you react and make a decision you might regret. Consider all the alternatives.
5. After you analyze your options, select your decision. Think about how you feel about what you chose. Then act on it. If it doesn’t work out, it is not a failure. It is an opportunity to learn from the mistake, seek help if needed from others you trust, not just someone walking down the street minding your business, and try a different strategy.

Write it down

    What steps will you take next time you need to make an important decision or solve a big problem? You can make pictures to represent your thoughts or you can write notes or sentences.

Seeking Self-Acceptance

As school counselors we want our students to have:

• Belief in development of the whole self.
• Self-confidence in their ability to succeed.
• Belief in using abilities to their fullest to achieve high quality results and outcomes.
• Positive attitude towards work and learning.

Finding freedom

    Students need a healthy self-acceptance of the things they cannot change about themselves. There are many things that students can work toward and change: effort in learning, completing homework, having a positive attitude, and listening and speaking kindly to others. Out of their control is the family they have, how much money the family has, how tall they are, and other physical features.
    Accepting the things about yourself you cannot change brings about a decrease in fear of failure, a feeling of freedom, an increase in a feeling of self-worth, increase in self-esteem, less need to win the approval of others, less self-criticism, forgiveness of self when one makes mistakes, and the willingness to take healthy risks.
    After having a moment to read the classic fable silently, students can take turns reading the poem aloud.

The Frog Who Wished
to Be as Big as The Ox

There was a little Frog

Whose home was in a bog,

And he worried ’cause he

wasn’t big enough.

He sees an ox and cries:

“That’s just about my size,

If I stretch myself–Say Sister,

see me puff!”

So he blew, blew, blew,

Saying: “Sister, will that do?”

But she shook her head. And then he lost his wits.

For he stretched and puffed again

Till he cracked beneath the strain,

And burst, and flew about in little bits.

let’s talk it over

• What kinds of things could the frog do in the bog that might have been fun for him?
• What did he think he was missing out on by being small?
• What happened to him when he tried to be something he was not?
• What lesson could you learn from this classic rhyme?
• Have you ever wanted to be something or somebody else?
• What do you wish you could do if you were that other person?
• Help the frog find things he could do well as a frog.
• Think about your strengths. List them!

Protecting Our Students

    Unfortunately, there is no way to protect all of our students. Since we can\’t protect, the next best thing we can do is to prepare them. Help them be more aware of the increasing dangers that abound. In addition, we have to do this in a way that does not make them anxious or afraid. What a task.

Strangers

Can your students determine the following?

• Who is a stranger?
• Who are safe people for me to turn to?
• Who am I really talking to when I am online?
• What information is safe to post online?
• What if I get myself in a bad situation?
• Who can I call?

American Red Cross Safety Tips

• Lock the doors and if your house has a security system, learn how to turn it on.
• Do not open the door to strangers. Always check before opening the door to anyone, looking out through a peephole or window first. Make sure it is a safe person that your parents would want you to let inside.
• Never open the door to delivery people. Without opening the door, ask them to leave the package outside the door.
• On the phone, don’t tell anyone that your parents are not at home. Just tell them that your parent is not available to come to the phone. Offer to take a message. Keep paper and pencil by the phone.
• Do not talk about being home alone on social media web sites. Do not share information in chat rooms. You may not be talking to the person that you think you are.
• Do not leave home without permission. If your parents let you go outside or to a friend’s house, call a parent before leaving and after you arrive at where you are going.
• If you hear a concerning noise outside, call your parent or a trusted adult. Don’t go outside to see what it is.
• If you have an emergency, such as a fire, go to a neighbor’s house, and then call 911.
• Don’t invite friends over unless parents give you permission to do so.
• If you are allowed to have friends over, make sure you don’t allow them to pressure you into doing something that is against home rules.

This can be a bit overwhelming to children. But if the information can be presented in a straight forward manner, it can lessen their anxiety.

Pause To Ponder!

Do you have young children in your building who spend time after school unsupervised?

What impact can school counselors have in helping them learn to keep safe?

Growth Mindset

    Has your school adopted growth mindset as a building philosophy? Have you been through training? Do you still have questions? What is your responsibility in helping your school adopt it? Carol Dweck developed the idea of a Growth Mindset for students. Her concept is that students believe they can grow their talents through hard work, trying multiple strategies, and practice.

“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” 

-Dr. Albert Einstein

Growth Mindset Beliefs

    Students who believe their talents can be developed through hard work, improved strategies, and collaboration with others have a growth mindset. A growth mindset can be developed through practice. Students who develop a growth mindset, research shows, achieve more. With a growth mindset, student worry less about looking smart, and they put more energy into learning and achieving.

More Than a Positive Attitude

• Students cannot grow academically simply by a positive attitude and by teachers praising and rewarding their effort. Outcomes and data still matter.
• Unproductive effort is not going to help the child grow academically. Teachers can acknowledge effort, but accountability of learning and progress is key.
• If progress cannot be documented, the child must consult with others and develop a plan to work toward short and long-term goals.
• Setbacks can be expected, but the individual must continue with new strategies building on what did not work.

School Growth

    It’s hard work, but students and schools can gain much by deepening their understanding of growth-mindset concepts and the processes for putting them into practice. It gives them a richer sense of who they are, and moves them forward toward growth for the school.

    How does your campus embrace a growth mindset? Watch our website for free lessons that embrace a growth mindset as early as kindergarten.

Three Take-Aways

1. Talents can be developed through hard work.
2. With a growth  mindset, students worry less about looking smart and focus on learning from mistakes.
3. Students with a growth mindset achieve more.

Pause To Ponder!

What can school counselors do to help students develop a growth mindset?

What to Consider

Do your current lessons do the following:

1. Promote student engagement? Do students look forward to your lessons?
2. Reflect a high level of best practice?
3. Promote coherence? Or are your lessons and activities pieced together?
4. Allow for monitoring of student progress?
5. Support students’ academic skills?
6. Allow students to practice reading, writing, speaking, and listening?
7. Strongly align to State and American School Counseling Association Standards?
8. Encourage reflection through journaling?
9. Allow all students to access the lessons and activities?
10. Provide activities that are a part of a well-thought-out curriculum?
11. Reflect a high level of best practice?

Pause To Ponder!

How do your current lessons measure up? Do your lessons promote a Growth Mindset? If you could design the curriculum of your dreams and have someone else put the time and energy into writing it for you, what would it include? Dream big and let us know.

Searching For Curriculum

    Have you been scouring the internet looking for lesson plans? There are some out there, but they are only \”plans\”. What you need is all the things that go with a lesson plan. That includes lessons, activities, and assessments.

    So you are now thinking, I will just write them myself. Where do you start? Now you need a plan on how to write your lesson plans, lessons, and activities.

ASCA Standards

    You must think about what you want the students to know, understand conceptually, and be able to do to show they understand. Begin first by making sure you are working with the school counseling standards as the focus. Use your state standards as well as the ASCA mindsets and behaviors for student success. Here are important items to consider as you write your own material:

1. Consider high expectations for your students.
2. Align your writing of materials with standards and assessment in mind.
3. Your lessons need to prepare your students to become college and career ready.
4. Lessons should align with reading, writing, speaking and listening to build students’ academic skills.
5. Create learning experiences: plan with the end in mind, consider what you will be doing during the lesson; consider what the students will be doing; what will the learning environment look and sound like during the lesson and activities; how will you know the students learned and understood.
6. Are the activities equitable for all students: general education, English Language Learners, gifted learners, and students with special needs?
7. Are the lessons comprehensive and coherent? Do they align vertically from one grade level to the next?
8. How can you track data on students who require intervention?
9. Prepare lessons and activities that will engage your students through their interest.    

Are you ready to write… or are you?

    I have created lessons based on classic children\’s literature. What did it take to cover the whole school year for grades Kindergarten through 5th grade? 

    In order to provide for a classroom lesson every other week, it required 4 units per grade. Each unit consists of 4 to 8 lessons. In the older classes, you have to prepare more material because they read much faster.

    The rough drafts took hundreds of hours. Then proofing and making them visually engaging added even more.

Rethinking writing your own?

Free Lesson – \”Wizard of Oz\”

    I created a sample lesson from my 5th grade series. It is only a portion of the unit, but it should give you a good example of a quality lesson plan & lesson. Enjoy this lesson for free! Your students will love going on this adventure with Dorothy and her friends through this classic story, while developing mindsets and behaviors for self-sustaining success.

    To get the free sample lesson, go to the Contact Page and send us a message. Enter your name, email address, and let us know that you want the \”Wizard of Oz free lesson\”.

Pause To Ponder!

Whether you are still wanting to \”build your own\” or are looking to purchase, it would probably be nice to look at examples and samples to get inspiration.